Round 2

Has it been a year already? Don't look now, but it has. Today, was the first day of Run Camp. It doesn't seem like it's been that long, so much has changed though. Will it be the same, will it be easier, why am I doing this again? Too late now, time to do it again.

Last year, compared to this year already feels different. The unknown has vanished. That is what I remember most about going into each week, never knowing if I could do it. Each week felt like a major accomplishment. Already as I stood waiting for the run to official start, I knew I could go the distance. Sure, that's good for confidence I suppose, but I wonder if motivation will suffer this year.

As far as camp, it already seems to operate the same. I admit, I was hoping that some of the areas that seemed lacking would be fixed. Did I fill out my comment card last year? Was there even one? Though I feel bad for other campers, I guess I can't complain too much seeing how last year the same problems were there and it ended up being the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I missed my run partner this week (it's probably fitting because I didn't meet her until the second week). The run itself reminded me of why I love running though. The air was so crisp, the sun was out, the roads were a little slick in spots, but that only makes me feel that much more in tune with my legs and the road. Perfect running conditions.

She said "Yes"

Kalamazoo Meets the Big City

Just me, or does everything seem bigger in the big city? There are some very cool things in Chicago, but I don't know if I could every adjust to life there. The food, outstanding! The commutes, I think are more stressful than that dream where it's five minutes away from that important exam and you never studied. The views, beautiful! The prices, holy cow(!) I think I need two extra jobs!

The race was Chicago's Perfect 10. The name is slightly misleading though. The race was in Chicago and it was 10 miles, but it was far from perfect. They did send out emails two days before to change the time of the race, kind of last minute. Luckily, it didn't alter my plans. This is somewhat minor, but I thought it was odd to run an out and back course yet not have a timing strip down to prove anything at the turn around spot. I could have just as easily "improved" my time by turning around after 4 miles. Granted, I'm not fast enough to even have to worry about somebody winning an award because of something like this, but I'd expect to see something like this at an event you pay for. Speaking of getting what you pay for, this is where I have the biggest issues with the race. I've ran a ton of 5K's this summer, every single one had better treats when crossing the finish line. It honestly felt like crossing into a third world nation. This race was two races, a 10 mile and a 10K race. When crossing the line, I expected to get a 10 mile medal, I mean I did go over twice as far as the 10K people, nope. Exactly the same medal regardless of which race you ran. So let me get this straight, I paid $20 more to run longer...yet I easily could have turned around at any point and got the same medal and lousy choice of food? That's far from perfect. Capone's spirit is alive and well in Chicago, I think it's borderline criminal.

For the run itself, it was decent. I'm trying not to let my above experiences cloud my judgement, but it wasn't as cool as I thought it would be. In my head I thought I'd have great views of the water and skyline the whole time. That was really only true on the way back. The weather was perfect though, don't get me wrong it was chilly, but that makes running so much easier. With the amount of people at the event, I knew there wasn't any point even attempting to run hard in the hopes of winning something. The time in my head I wanted were eight minute miles. In the end, I did better than that, so I'm happy.

The one thing from the race that will stick with me was some woman that from about mile 4 to mile 6, I could not get away from her. To sum up her major malfunction, she's the person on the expressway that doesn't set cruise control. I pass her, she passes me, I pass her, she passes me. Except it was even more frustrating than that, she'd pass, then she'd slow down as if trying to intentionally block me. Once or twice, I'd write off as an accident. Three or four times, just a very inconsiderate person. Greater than five times, that deserves a good punch in the face! Okay, I'd never hit a woman, but when the thought actually crosses my mind and I find myself smiling, there's something wrong. I can't ever remember a time when I've felt stressed during a run, it's always been the opposite. Even though I was comfortable with my pace, I decided enough was enough and put the hammer down (as in the gas pedal, not my fist!) and made sure she wasn't going to catch me again. She didn't.

Besides the race, Chicago didn't disappoint. Harry Carey's still makes the best steak on the planet. Our last minute, cheapest, hotel room was gorgeous. If there were a way for me to fit the bathroom in my bag to take home, I would have. After cheese cake was sampled, an impromptu visit to the Cheesecake Factory was made, but unfortunately it was closed. We did get lucky and the huge Marilyn Monroe statue was still in town. Here's my two running partners checking out the "Big City", for the record...I didn't look up her dress.

Let it snow

It happened very early this year, but tonight was the first snow fall. Did I sit inside with a cup of hot chocolate, under a warm blanket with the fireplace going? Of course not, especially when it's a running night! Crazy.

I know it sounds foolish, but tonight was one of my favorite runs. At times it almost a full blizzard, but instead of worrying about slipping, it being cold, it's so relaxing. The snow drowns out city sounds and foot noise, it's so peaceful. With it getting dark so soon now, it's night, yet the white of the snow makes whatever ambient light seem dreamlike. While running, your body is warm, as the snow hits your face and melts, totally refreshing. I'd take every run just like tonight, it was perfect.

Five of us ran tonight and I think the runners high I experienced hit each one of us. What started out as a four mile run, became six. Afterward, not one of us made a mad dash for the warmth of the house, instead they decided to make snow angels. To anybody who thinks running in the snow is crazy, I won't even argue because it will be impossible to convince somebody who has never tried it. Let it snow!

I Ran How Many Miles For This?

Thirteen races and here's my reward, a coffee cup! Sure, there are two in the picture, but only one of them is mine. The other belongs to CT, that's her first place mug and my third place mug. The best part, I don't even drink coffee! I know it sounds like I'm complaining, I'm really not. Even though I feel like I should be entitled to a four foot trophy, I'm not sure there's a material object that can really represent my accomplishment. Going from never running to winning this award, I'd say that's a big deal just by itself, but that really only scratches the surface. I've gotten stronger, faster, ran two brutally long races, met some great new friends, oh and the love of my life, not bad. Yeah, it's only coffee cup, but it's all about what you put into it.

UP

I just spent $99 on a bracelet, for myself! File that under phrases I never thought I would say. It wasn't offered by a guy opening a long trench-coat as a "deal". I wasn't suffering from insomnia where the home shopping network suckered me. I honestly intended to purchase it. Don't you think it looks good on me? Okay, since when would I buy anything for fashion, if you guessed there's an ulterior motive, then you are correct. This bracelet is actually a tech gadget and those are hard for me to pass UP.

What exactly does Jawbone's UP do? It basically tracks everything you do, scary huh, from a fitness point of view. During the day, it collects how many steps you've taken. At night, it tracks how well you sleep. It also pays attention to what you eat, but you do have to manually tell it what food you are eating. Kind of a cool gadget to get an idea of what a typical day looks like.

As somebody who tracks every run I do, the fitness side of UP isn't a huge advantage. Between my phone and my Garmin watch, I know how many running miles I log each week. Though, only having UP for a few days now, it's amazing how little movement I do in a day without running. I knew I wasn't super active at a desk job, but wow, looking at the data it's almost depressing. No wonder America is getting fatter and lazier.

My main curiosity with UP is the ability to track sleep patterns. Here's a sample:



The dark blue bars are deep sleep, the light blue are light sleep, and the orange parts are me still awake or getting up. As to how accurate this data is, I really have no idea, but the fact that it can obviously tell when I get up without triggering it, tells me it's at least doing something. I think over time it will be interesting to see how sleep patterns look staying at a hotel, falling asleep on the couch, after a long day, etc.

I haven't had it long enough to really put UP through it's paces yet. This past week, I was doing something special with one of my running programs, so I haven't specifically used the workout tracking feature of the device. The meal tracking option seems the least useful feature. At the moment, you take pictures of the food you eat with your phone, then a few hours later UP asks you how you feel. Not extremely helpful in my opinion. Jawbone really needs to either integrate with another service or build there own to build a food database with nutrition information. Being able to see a rough estimate of steps and calories burned versus calorie intake, now that is bordering on useful information. My biggest complaint so far is all the information resides in the phone app. Currently it only works with the iPhone, which I'm sure will change, but why they didn't develop a web site to view progress and the information the device collects is a big failure. Hopefully, that will change down the road, but it really limits usability in my opinion.

Even though there's certain improvements Jawbone can make, it's still a fun little toy that I intend to play with for awhile. It's probably a good thing that I don't have my cats anymore, I'd be so tempted to track their sleep patterns! Since I can't do that, I guess I have to continue to experiment on myself....time for a nap! Hey, after all, it's science.

The Big House

I always knew I'd end up in The Big House, again. It was only a matter of time. Okay, we all know I'm not talking about the one in Jackson! At least I hope so, and if you the reader expected that one, then you may stop reading my blog now!

It's not very often free tickets fall into your lap. It's even more rare when those tickets are to my favorite team. When they do, it's very hard to pass them up. That's the situation I was put in the night before the game. There's something to be said about being spontaneous and before I knew it, the tickets were in my hands. CT had never been and it's probably been close to fifteen years since I had been.

The energy in a stadium with 110+ thousand people is special. Even CT, who I think was only doing this because of how much she knows I bleed Maze and Blue, was impressed. My favorite part was watching Michigan getting a sack for a safety and proceeding to "Woooooohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" long enough to I think embarrass CT. Next thing I know, I got put on a one "woho" limit. Seriously, girls just don't understand! I behaved for the rest of the game, but little does she know it was only because it wasn't a close contest. Had my team needed me, the rule would have been broken!

She did enjoy the band, which I knew she would. Honestly, I think she enjoyed the football too, at one point she said her heart was beating fast as Michigan almost scored. Her favorite part was the wave. With the game in hand, I knew it was only a matter of time before it started. Of course she enjoyed the normal wave, but once the student section put the wave in slow motion and she got to do it o.n.c.e (and you have to saaaaaaay that very sloooooowwwwwly as if in sloooooow mooooootion)...that sealed the deal, she'll go to another game with me. By then, maybe, even my one "woho" limit will even be lifted!

26.2 Miles comes down to 4 (minutes)

Four friggin' minutes! We needed 224 to get CT's goal and we crossed the finish line at 228. I suppose going that whole distance and missing it by four seconds, would be worse, but it still seems awful damn close to me given the distance.

The race started with a storm. Dark, gloomy, rainy, why am I doing this again? It was cold, which only bothered me waiting for the start. I knew once we started, it would be a blessing. The rain was my main fear as I scanned the crowd. Running in wet shoes is horrible. Don't mind the snow, sleet, whatever, just keep my feet dry! Wasn't going to happen this day. Bang goes the gun and the with the surge we are off.

I attempted to enjoy the start more, feed off the excitement, take in the sites, but trying to keep adrenaline at a minimum. I'll be honest, in the back of my head were all the thoughts about hitting the wall at the first marathon, worrying about the missing miles because of the heat this summer as I dodged puddles. With the crowd the first mile turned out to be a little slower. The next few miles, things started to open up, mud puddle avoidance was easier, CT and I shared a couple of jokes and we found a rhythm. We didn't start right with the pace group we wanted to stay with, but I could see us gaining on them.

That's how it went until around mile ten. It felt like I was running very easy. We passed the pace group and it was about this time I asked how CT was doing. She said her hip was hurting her some and no sooner did she say that, then my knee started feeling a little weird. We both moved to the center of the road to avoid as much of the grade on the street as possible. It was also about this point the half marathoners turned off. I distinctly remember thinking to myself, how tempting it would be to turn off and be done in three miles, but the sense of pride I had as I continued forward.

Just before mile thirteen there was a little bit of a hill going down and a turn. It's here where my knee really began to hurt and I limped around that corner. Wow. Warning bells and lights started to go off. All the miles I've logged and it's never felt like this. Can I continue? Should I? I can't let CT down. This is about where the decline started in the first marathon. All those thoughts came rushing in my mind. Back on level ground and out of the turn, the pain was gone, maybe some discomfort, but better. Okay, lets see what happens.

Even with the pain, waist up, I felt great. It didn't feel like I was having to work very hard to maintain our pace. Though I was worried about my knee, my mind was more concerned that next stretch is where "The Wall" came and destroyed me last time. CT was beginning to struggle and it's somewhere in this stretch she told me "This is our last marathon". She wanted to start walking through the water stops and I did as well. Though, coming out of the water stops and beginning to run again my knee felt like it was grinding more gears than if I were to drive a stick-shift. It was at this point the marathon officially became survival. The goals get left behind and it simply becomes whatever you can do to finish. I knew we were getting slower and it was around mile seventeen our pace group passed us. I had visions flash back to the first marathon and the crushing defeat I felt when the pace group that I wanted passed me. This time, I was much more level headed. We had started well behind them and although we weren't exactly at the pace we wanted, we weren't walking.

It was around mile twenty that I told CT, I couldn't walk through the water stops anymore. It was too painful for me to start up again. The plan became I'd slow up my pace so she could catch up, but I had to remain moving. For as bad as my knee was doing, I actually felt very good because "The Wall" hadn't reared it's ugly head. I know the last six miles would be the worst, but getting here without breaking down, felt like a huge accomplishment and I could feel the confidence coming back. Even though we were in what I'd call defensive mode, at mile twenty were were at exactly the pace we needed to be at to get our goal. Prior to the run, CT and I discussed that if we were at twenty and weren't at our goal, we'd shut it down. Here we were, right at our goal, but both our bodies were struggling and I knew keeping the pace we had to would be next to impossible. Take away the pain, everything else the same, we could have done it. I know it.

Running isn't pretty. Anybody who looks good crossing the finish line, caught a bus and cheated (maybe not, but that's my theory)! Skip this paragraph if you are squeamish. This is going to get filed under WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION. Remember, I warned you. Prior to a marathon, I'm convinced there's nothing more important than a good poop. I spent a good thirty minutes in the morning doing everything possible to leave the biggest deposit I could. Even though I resorted to praying, I knew enough didn't come out. Well at just over mile twenty-two, the urge struck me. It wasn't just an urge though, it was all the bells and whistles of "you have ten seconds". I politely told CT to continue on without me as I stopped to contemplate what was going on. I seriously thought I was going to shit my shorts right there on the course. Believe me when I say that all my concerns about my knee were instantly gone. I don't know if it was fear of the scene I'd surely cause, excellent muscle control, divine intervention, or me using all the good karma I've tried to save up, but the shit decided it would wait. This makes the scene in Forrest Gump more classic as he cheerfully says "Shit Happens", luckily for me it didn't. I took a moment to stretch, then my concern became I've gone this far with CT, I have to catch her to finish with her.

The last mile felt like forever. Even with everything this marathon threw at me, the goal was still possible. I could pick up the pace and get darn close. Then I thought about the real goal and that was to cross the line with CT. That was the only thing that really mattered. Not much was said between us down the final stretch, both in pain, both tired, both wanting to be done hand in hand...that's the goal, 4 minutes didn't matter.



Even for missing the other goal, I don't feel bad. This was a much different marathon than the first one. Am I bummed about missing the time we wanted? Sure. But, I'm walking (make that hobbling) away with a much more positive outlook. Life is a learning experience and even though that first marathon was a disaster, I learned a few things. Applying those lessons this time around and seeing the improvements, helps when I evaluate my performance. In honor of those 4 damn minutes, here's the 4 lessons I learned:

1) Tape your nipples - I felt like a pure genius for doing this. As I waited for friends to cross the finish line, I was surprised at how many blood soaked shirts came across the line. Knew with it being cold, it would be a problem. Where I failed and will make adjustments, my rain soaked shorts and the chaffing on my thighs. Ouch.

2) Electrolytes - Maybe I'm stronger, maybe it was the cooler weather, but I'm convinced that drinking electrolytes instead of sticking with water the whole way is what prevented me from hitting the wall again. One bad marathon drinking only water, a much better second one drinking electrolytes, I'm sold.

3) After mile 20 anything goes - The G and PG rated conversation ceases to exist after mile twenty. Colorful four letter words come out to play. "Lets finish this f*cking thing!"

4) Promises - Whatever promises are made during a marathon, don't believe them. "This is our last marathon"....haha.

It's Time

Fall is here and so is the Grand Rapids Marathon. I'm nervous. Where was this emotion last marathon? Though I complained last marathon lacked emotion, I did feel confident, probably over confident, heading into it. This marathon is flat, the weather is going to be cooler, I'm running faster, and last I checked the distance is the same, 26 (.2), where are these nerves coming from?

The plan is different this time. Gone is the plan of running as hard as possible, then dealing with whatever energy is left to finish the race. Also gone is the thought of running the race for me. This time, CT and I are going to stick together. Maybe that's really where my nerves come from, last marathon when I broke down, it was only myself. This time around, there's added pressure of not letting CT down. But with that also comes the strength of having her near me. Last time CT and I entered a race with this plan, it was by far our best race. She's still convinced Superwoman took over her body that day and ran the race for her. Lightning doesn't strike twice, but I'd sure take it if it does.

CT set a lofty goal for herself of finishing under 3 hours 45 minutes. No added pressure, huh? Track us Live HERE.

Season Ending...

The season is over and surprisingly the phrase that one would expect to hear of "Season Ending Injury", was never mentioned. That's an accomplishment by itself as far as I'm concerned. You know I like numbers, that's a total of 366 miles over the past four months. Impressed by that? How about an even more impressive stat of 14 races completed? Damn! Then lets talk about the bling. Two firsts, four seconds, and three thirds. That's a nice medal wall.

I'm not exactly sure of when the goal became running a 5K in under twenty minutes, but it was probably soon after getting 21:30 in my first 5K after the marathon. That was the goal, but this season is going to end with the closest I could get being a 20:02. I just wasn't able to break into the 19's. Sure, I'm disappointed, but in the end it's difficult to train for three (.1) miles of speed and twenty-six (.2) miles of distance at the same time. Doesn't seem like it should be, running should be running, but it is.

The consolation prize is sweet though. Running as many races as I did help my chances in the championship series run (ha pun) by the local runner's group. How you do in each race scores points based on how you do. After the season is over, those points are tallied and the top three people get awards for their age group. There are some seriously fast guys in my age group. I could quit my day job, train full time, and still wouldn't have a snowball's chance in hell of beating them. I wasn't very optimistic of my chances, but through some miracle of at least lowering my times to be decent and luck of some of those really fast guys not running all the races they could, I came in third. WOOT!

The next marathon is around the corner and I suppose that will be the true end to the season. But I'll also let you in on a little secret...summer might be over, but the running season is far from over!

Witness

I've made it thirty-six years without having to experience anything horrific. No major accidents, about the worst I can think of was a kid breaking his arm growing up. Right place, right time? Maybe. Or just lucky all this time, I guess. In a blink of an eye, that streak ended this weekend.

It started off as a typical weekend, a race on Saturday in the morning. Neither CT or I were feeling "it" prior to the race starting. We were able to cheer for two of our friends who ran the 10K before our race started, so that was a nice change. Then we also got to visit with some new friends we meet running races. During the run, I felt better than I did all weekend. My legs felt good and I remember feeling a sense of freedom. It didn't feel like I had the energy or desire I needed to really push it, but things felt smooth and very comfortable. I had ran this course before, not this race, but this course. I replayed that in my mind as ran, remembering where I had trouble before and smiling as I felt at peace this time. You know I want in the 19's bad, again I finished close, but that didn't bother me as this run plain felt good for me. CT came chugging along shortly after. We met up with our two running partners and started sharing our stories, then the unthinkable happened...

"Call 911!" Came the shout. Standing only a few feet from the finish line, a man had collapse on the ground. At first thought, somebody is overreacting. Then it switches to, this is serious, but I'm sure he'll be alright. All too soon it becomes something I've never had to deal with this before, I'm witnessing somebody passing away before my very eyes. There's nothing I can do, completely helpless to change the outcome of this situation. That was a horrible feeling and then I felt guilty for even watching. This is where runners instinct took over and I actually had to run out of the reality of the situation to get away.

Checking the news later, he did in fact pass away. 42 years old, wow. I can't imagine. There are a couple of things that are going to stick with me forever, even though I'm writing them down here. Running started as a way to promote myself staying healthy, by forcing myself not to spend hours sitting behind the computer. Witnessing this event, only reminds me that I picked the correct course. The second, life can change in a blink of an eye. It's one of those things that always gets said, but this was another reminder to make every moment count. The last and most disturbing mental image from this whole event was watching how small and insignificant we are. Not sure if that's a problem with society as a whole, but it seemed wrong to be watching a life hanging in the balance, meanwhile the announcer is still calmly calling out names as people cross the finish line. Is that a reminder that life goes on, or it's some cruel joke? Either way, that was surreal and the part struck me hardest.

It was a good run, but the streak had to end at some point. My thoughts go out to the guy and his family.

The Path

Running should be simple, maybe that's why I like it, one foot in front of the other, repeat. Easy enough. It never is though. Is it only the theory that's easy part? The execution is anything but. Maybe, I'm not doing it right. Maybe, that's just the way it is. Maybe, it's suppose to be like this, easy in concept, difficult in practice.

When I think about the big picture, it's hard not to see similarities between running and life. Both have successes, failures, lessons, ups, and downs. Both should be easy, yet no matter how hard you train or plan, there is always going to be something unexpected that makes it complicated, not to mention the unknown. It's here that I'd say at least with running, there's a set start and finish, but that's not necessary always true either. The path in running holds just as much uncertainty at times as life. Where am I going with this? I don't know, but feelings wise, I think I'm at some kind of crossroad. The past couple of weeks it seems like lots of soul searching, almost trying to find a new identity.

This weekend featured two runs, a race and a long run. I didn't feel like I had good training runs this week. I can't explain the reason, they just felt blah. I wasn't confident going into the race this weekend. This happened to be the first race that I had ran before, so I knew the course. From an improvement standpoint, I knocked three and a half minutes off my time from last year. Running it though, I had high hopes of getting my record time, but didn't even come. That was very disappointing.

The next day, the thought of running twenty miles had me scared. The first sixteen, I felt surprisingly good. Though not nearly as fast as a 5K race pace, it's hard to understand why things felt good. Trust me, I wasn't questioning it too much and decided to go with it. With four to go, my legs got tired and I would have loved to pop some ibuprofen, so the last few weren't pretty, but they got done. This coming marathon has me nervous. Want to talk about the unknown, this is it.

Different blog entry for me this time. Head feels like it's got tons of data to crunch on a slow processor. Think I need a run to clear my head ;)

Not Exactly as Planned

This weekend was one of the most difficult weekends I've had in recent memory. I had to give up my two companions for the past 13 years. I hope they understand and forgive me. It's not the way I wanted it to happen, but couldn't find a solution that worked for all the parties involved. They provided me a constant welcome home, entertainment, love, and an endless supply of hair for all these years. Hopefully, I found a home you can be happy in.

Love you both Rascal and Shy! I'm going to miss you horribly.

A Year to the Date

I can no longer use the excuse that I haven't even been running for a year yet. This weekend marked the one year anniversary of running my first 5K. It would have been fitting to run the same race again, unfortunately, that race didn't take place this year. Who would have thought my running career lasted longer than the first race I picked? Certainly not me or anybody with betting money in their pocket. Speaking of things that you wouldn't predict, how about getting company sponsored for running? It's official, not only has it been a year, but I can now casual boast "Yeah, I've got corporate sponsorship". I'll try to hide the fact it's my own company and it probably won't happen again, but it's still cool to say, not to mention the shirts to go with. Now....if I could just find somebody who is gullible enough to believe it!

This week was a crazy week. Total, it felt like there were four seconds of free time. I'm hoping that this will be the last week like this one for a very long time. Through all the events, it worked out that my long run for the week took place on Thursday. Normally, I like to have two days to recover after doing a long run, not necessary with no running, but certainly not a race schedule for day two, but that's what had to happen this week. Doing a short warm up run before the race, I could feel plenty of muscles working when it's normally they just work behind the scenes. This could be ugly! This course had more damn corners, this is one time where I'm glad people were ahead of me, otherwise I would have got lost.

Stressful week, tight legs, a year to the date, I ended up 1st in my group (with no asterisk this time). Perfect Anniversary to my first race. Oh, somebody else got first in her division too.

First 1st*

Running races is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get. Sorry Forest, I'm stealing your line. This week our race schedule brought us to Allegan. Even though we are getting closer to Fall, today although cooler, it was very humid. This was one of those days where physically I just didn't feel like I had much power in my legs. The first mile didn't feel fast to me and after it, the rest of the race felt as though I was in maintain mode. At the mile mark I had already decided that there would be no PR on this date, simply run as hard as I could without overheating and killing myself. Imagine my surprise when seeing the results to find out that I got first! A few weeks ago, I run out of my mind and crush my PR and come within three seconds of getting my ultimate goal, yet end up 7th in my age group. Now, to have what I'd consider a very average race and getting my first, 1st place medal to date. Kind of funny.

I do have to asterisk after this finish though. In this case, I got the medal, but the only reason I did is another guy in my age group placed 2nd overall to receive a trophy. So, to me it's not official, but where's that chocolate...I'm gonna celebrate anyway!

This shirt was at the race. Though it doesn't really fit the theme of this entry, I still like it.

Special Treats

This weekend was a special one. Yeah, yeah, another weekend and another 5K, I do have one scheduled for every Saturday this month. What makes this one special? This was a return to my hometown. I rarely come back to visit and have been gone for eighteen years now. When I do come back, I certainly never ran a race. Thinking back, I remember one summer either when I was a freshman or a sophomore toying with the idea of joining the cross country team. There was hardly any serious effort put into that idea, but I do remember running with a portable cassette player a few times. When's the last time you've seen one of those? Anyway, it was a long time ago and nothing ever became of it because I never joined the team. Though it never happened, with recent history, I am kind of curious if I would of had any success back then. Getting in shape, running, the goal was always to be able to say the cliche "I'm in the best shape of my life". Had I joined the team, hard to say what could have happened, but the fact I didn't, I think it's fairly obvious I can use the cliche.

The moments before the race I watched three young adults displaying the exact traits that kept me from joining organized sports back in school. Cockiness, huge egos, jockeying for position right on the start line and at one point I heard the three of them predicting they were going to finish 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. Here were my villains for this race. Eighteen years later, still it instantly reminded me of everything I hated about high school. Bang goes the gun. By a half mile in, I was already by two of them. The one punk actually looked like a decent runner and I actually figured the best I could do would be to stay close to him and use the excuse that he was younger in the end. I was certainly motivated, little did I know I had some secret weapons for me along the route. At just over the mile mark, I surged past him, good riddance. In the back of my head, I was worried of him catching me later, but I never saw any of them again. I knew we weren't in the same age group, but that was a HUGE satisfaction knowing that these jock types got crushed by a aging computer nerd.

What were the secret weapons I spoke of? Only further proof that I have the most amazing and creative family. Unknown to me, prior to the race that morning, my mom and aunt were out at the crack of dawn placing homemade signs all along the race route. Messages like "CT you can do it!", "Ace loves CT", and my personal favorite "Run for the bling CT". I doubt I smile ever during a race. The course was a mix of road, trail, deck, and our favorite a suspension bridge that felt like your knees were made of rubber. Without photographic proof, I doubt I did smile on the outside (damn it, I was working hard), but every time I came to a sign it made me smile on the inside. It was a very special treat and I think my favorite part was standing around post race and having people actually asking if CT was the "Bling Girl".

CT and I both ran away from my hometown with 2nd place medals and twelve special signs. It was great having family there to support us and I honestly think they had more excitement for us than energy I spent racing. For the last note, the first place finisher received a trophy, next year we are coming back for the support...and that a trophy!

The Results Rock

Well, if you read my previous entry, I was attempting to motivate myself. Did it work? I could give an quick answer, but what fun would that be? If I don't build up the suspense like one of the three million music, talent, and dance shows out there, I'd feel like I'm doing you the reader a disservice. Even though I intend to tease you, I promise there won't be any commercial breaks and I'll keep this show under an hour. For the record, if you can't tell based on the title, then something is really wrong with you.

In addition to the attitude adjustment I spoke about in the previous entry, I also started training a little different. I'm always joking around, but I'm saying this with a straight face, I've been running Fartleks (Fart-licks). Don't ask. I've got no idea where that term comes from and quite honestly, I really don't even want to know. I'm pretending it's the last name of the person who invented the technique and that it didn't come from a elementary school playground. The concept is fairly simple, run harder, then run relaxed, repeating at various intervals. The past two weeks, I've been mixing this technique into my runs.

Did it work? The day before the race, I posted on Facebook that I wanted to cut a minute off my time to get myself officially in the 19's. That was really raising the bar, that's a huge number to pull off. Last year, I would have been ecstatic to pull of 22's. Hitting 20's, felt like an unrealistic goal. Getting under 20, that's officially fast in my book. My post was more motivation, I felt confident that I could lower my PR, but would have guessed maybe 10 seconds. Prior to the start, I felt some tightness in my knee, the humidity was in the uncomfortable level, so I wasn't sure how the race would go. At the start, I felt good the first mile, but I also didn't feel as explosive as I did the previous race. I ran my plan, which was simply run as hard as could based on the conditions and even though there were some rivals around (I'm sure this will be a blog entry at some point down the road), don't pay attention to my watch. It wasn't until I made the final turn and could see the official clock that it hit me how close I actually was to my bold prediction. The clock had 19:xx on it and even though I knew it was going to be very close to actually keeping 19 on it, the race was already a huge success. I missed the 19's by 3 seconds to finish at 20:02, so so close!

My best 5K to date. Improving by 45 seconds, wasn't the 60 I really wanted, but I'm hardly going to beat myself up for getting that close. The results rocked, in fact, which happened to fit in perfect with my plans for later the night. CT's nephew was playing a concert that night and it made the end to a great day. Here's video from the show, not bad, not bad at all.

100% Still Results In Second

I haven't been pleased with my past couple of performances with my shorter races. There hasn't been a time where felt like I've given up, but at the same time I don't feel like I've given them my all. It still hasn't been quite a year since I've started racing, but I think my goals have changed quite a bit. Heck, they were simply crossing the line, alive. They switched to improving, then to hopefully placing. I don't have a big enough ego to say that I expect to place now, but does bum me out if I don't!

Something has changed. I'm sure it could be any number of things, but I think it's getting harder to see progress and I wouldn't say I'm losing motivation, but it's making me complacent. Going from one race to the next, I was shaving minutes off my times, it's not like that now. I knew that trend couldn't continue, this could be a plateau, or maybe this is as fast as I can get. I'm really not sure...yet. For being a physical activity, running has more mental elements than I ever would have guessed. In the past few races that I didn't believe I did very well, during the runs I could feel myself saying things like "this is good enough", "why try harder", "there are faster people here, you can't beat them, no need to try", very defeatist thinking. Sure, I've have plenty of conversations and battles with myself about not stopping, not giving up, on runs (probably every run to an extent), but this defeatist thinking is something new. I'd like to think these 5K's are getting easier for me, hence giving me too much time to daydream, but I highly doubt that's the case. Wherever this line of thinking came from, it's time to change it.

There are a number of different reasons why I run. As I thought about ways to change this pattern, I didn't look at the reasons why I run, but instead turned to one of my other passions, money! I always try to be responsible with my money and as I thought about paying for these races and realizing that I was running them relaxed, it actually made me mad at myself. When running, I always motivate myself by finding a villain, well spending money foolishly is evil, so this realization is the solution to my problem. I think my course is corrected now.

The first test was this week's race. Would my attitude adjustment work? I've always wanted to break a sub six minute mile, it's difficult to tell for sure because I can only roughly estimate based on the course, but I think I did it. Starting out fast is always the downfall in any race I've ran so far, but I wanted to use every ounce of adrenaline, anger, desire, I had. Mile two was slower and the humidity and heat started to set in. Mile three, the voices were there and it didn't help that a 60 year old guy passed me, but instead of the defeatist voices, the voices were saying things like "you can do it", "don't give up", "keep pushing".

I missed my PR by five seconds. Though I wasn't able to walk away with that victory this time, I think I walked way solving a problem. Oh and I also walked away with second place(again). The guy that got third was only seven seconds behind me, had I relaxed and not given 100%, the results would have been different.

3 am Start and No Regrets

Just when I thought I've done the craziest thing running, something else comes along that raises the bar. Hmmmm, there's been running more than a mile in general, running in snow, running in below zero temps, a friggin Marathon, what next? How about getting up at 3 am to run a race? Giving up quality beauty sleep, I must be nuts!

Prior to this race, there was some discussion about the possibility of getting a motel room, but when the race starts at 6 am, figure I'd be getting up at 5 am anyway, what's two more hours? Might as well get up early and drive instead of only saving two hours sleep. Besides, it makes for a better story and this is what this is about isn't it?

Training for the next Marathon has been more relaxed this time around. CT and I haven't been putting nearly the same number of miles that we did training for the first one. Even though the miles are down, what we are running is quality. This Half Marathon had a specific goal, run at the pace CT needs to qualify for Boston. That time is averaging 8:30 per mile. I haven't run enough where I'm comfortable even running my own race, but the plan was stick with CT and pace her. Though, I told myself once at the race, size up the competition and if it looks tough, then stick with the plan of pacing CT, if not go for it...and leave her! I've never paced anybody, but how hard could it be?

6 am, the gun goes off. We started out nice and easy. It took some time to thin out to avoid having to dodge people, but soon CT and I were side by side, running very comfortably. 6:08:34 am, I report to CT "We are doing great, we are right at the pace we want, 8:34". Her response, you'd think I told her I killed Bambi! It was something along the lines of "That's not doing great, we are behind", almost in a panic. Four seconds behind after 5,280 ft with 12 miles (or 63,360ft) to go, wasn't a big deal to me. Clearly, my job as a pacer was in jeopardy for daring to run so recklessly!

Side plot time. Of course the goal is an 8:30 pace, but CT has this very competitive streak and she likes medals. It's one thing to get a finisher medal, but she also wants a place medal. I was specifically told she wanted to bring home "The Bling", meaning both. Placing in the top three of your age group is difficult! Prior to the race starting, I said I was sizing up the guys who looked to be about my age, well I was also checking out the competition for CT. I keep hoping for a race like this to be filled with Biggest Loser contestants. Instead, everybody looks serious, fit, and fast. To me, it looked like she'd have her work cut out for her, but I did take mental notes of women I thought could be a problem.

Unnerved slightly from my failure of an 8:34 pace, I decided we'd pick it up some and targeted my first female target, who must be serious because she had a drink belt on in addition to a matching runner's outfit. Next mile was an 8:20 pace. I felt very relaxed and we had closed the gap on the target. I reported this "good news" to CT. What form of gratitude did I get back? I got told "I don't want to know anymore, it only makes me tired"! Wonder if there are any books on Amazon to being a good pacer, because clearly I'm missing something. New plan of attack, making sure we don't dip below 8:30, but solely concentrate on catching the targets. Drink Belt Girl was starting to tire because we passed her somewhere around mile 3.

The next female was running with her sports bottle. She proved to be a very good adversary. We chased her down for what felt like forever, mile 5 I finally saw her start to struggle and by mile 6 we were past her. From mile 6 on, I couldn't even see another female runner. I debated pushing our pace more to try to find another one, but this course had long stretches of road and didn't think it was worth the risk to push harder when we were already way ahead of the 8:30 pace we wanted and seemed to be running so well.

At mile 10, my job as a pacer really got tested. At this point, I felt so good, I was itching to take off and run hard. We were so far ahead of the goal we set, I was confident that even if I left CT, she'd be able to get it. Personal glory, personal glory, was what my mind was telling me. Then I got to thinking how did I get here? We made a plan of starting out easy, I said I was going to pace, we were doing great, lets finish exactly how we planned.

The last mile, the temperature was rising, I could tell CT was starting to get tired. Looking back, I could see the female with the water bottle gaining some ground on us. Which was impressive because were maintaining our pace and hadn't slowed down. CT asked where she was, I told a slight fib that she was a ways back. Suddenly, there was a hill. This almost flat course, finally had a hill, but I wouldn't consider it a REAL hill. We train on much bigger hills than this! I remember confidently boasting "You call this a hill" (any doubt to how I felt?) as we powered up it. After clearing the hill, looking back, our threat was nowhere to be found. Guess somebody doesn't train on hills.

We crossed the line with a blistering 8:06 pace. That alone should be celebrated, but checking the results, you should have seen the smile on CT. Not only did we crush the pace we wanted, besting her previous best Half Marathon time by twelve minutes, but she got the "The Bling" too. Not just any bling either, first place bling. I didn't do as well in my age group, but even so, I only finished three minutes off from placing in my age group. Am I bummed about missing out on my first medal in a Half Marathon, of course. But, in my mind, I ran the perfect race. I had a goal, made a plan, and stuck with it. No regrets....okay maybe getting up at 3 am...we could have waited until 3:15!

Good Cause, Powerful Meaning

Training for the Grand Rapids Marathon, what better way to prepare than by running the course? That was my thought when I saw Grand Rapids advertise a Half Marathon coming up, odd I didn't remember seeing anything recently. After further research, I found out the Grand Rapids Marathon was doing something very cool and there was a reason I didn't hear about this Half Marathon sooner.

This Half Marathon was a response to the devastation Joplin suffered with the tornado. Joplin was suppose to run a Marathon this year, called the Boomtown, but obviously unable with the damage. Grand Rapids stepped up and decided to offer this Half Marathon with all proceeds going to help Joplin. It didn't take more than a second to sign up for this race knowing it was for a good cause.

For being put together somewhat last minute, I have to applaud everybody involved. It wasn't officially timed and there will be no official record of me running it, but I'll always remember the speech given before the start of the race (well, fun run as they called it). This is where I ruin this blog entry with a obscure movie reference, but the speech reminded me of Cannonball Run, where the line goes something like "There isn't one state with the death penalty for speeding....though we aren't sure about Ohio". Instead in our speech went like this, "We haven't told the police that you are out running this morning, so if they stop you, good luck and we don't know you!".

I'm very excited to run this course in the fall. Running through downtown was very cool. I enjoyed looking at the buildings, running over the bridges, it made for a very fun run. Keep in mind though, I hadn't ran more than 6 miles since the Kalamazoo Marathon. Once the sun came out and when I hit mile 10, I was done. The last three miles were an absolute struggle. Once I finished, I waited for my teammates. It was great to have four of my running partners with me. It made for a great day, both for the route, then without any race pressure, it was a very relaxing feeling. Even with my struggles, I think this will be one of my favorite runs.

We were treated with this beautiful finisher medal, which by itself is special because it is the actual medal that would have been given out had the Marathon taken place in Joplin. It wasn't until after we found out there were a very specific number of medals given out, and it was the exact number of people who lost their lives in that horrible tornado. That medal represents MUCH more than running 13.1 miles.

Klassic Results

How many races can we run? That might be the theme of the year! It seems like I barely get finished with a race and it's time for another one. I'm not complaining, but it makes it easy to plan the weekend when you know Saturday is race day. Though, it gets confusing where I should be standing that morning, Battle Creek last week, Kalamazoo this week, back to Battle Creek next week!

This week was the Kalamazoo Klassic. This always seems like a popular race based on the turn out, but I soon found out why it's so popular...the course. Everybody is always happy when a course is advertised as a flat, fast course. Well the Klassic is a downhill course. Hence, very popular to help with the PR's (personal records).

Another reason the Klassic is popular, they run the 10K first and the 5K second. This gives the true crazy runners a chance to run both runs. CT and I should have done this to help us work on our distance for our marathon coming up, but we have both been preoccupied with trying to get faster in our 5K's. We decided we wanted to be fresh and push for our PR's. CT's sister did the 10K and did awesome at it. The 10K is much harder. It laps the 5K course twice and remember how I said the 5K is downhill? Well, the part that is cut out of the 5K is a HUGE hill, which the 10K people have to do. Anybody that does that hill gets immediate props from me.

Getting there early to watch CT's sister was great. It was a blast cheering on other running friends as they went by as well. When it came to our race it wasn't like I spent all my energy cheering, but I was already sweating. The later start time, the cheering, and simply walking up that hill a couple of times already had me second guessing if this would be a PR run. Once the race started, the first half mile felt like being herded like cattle. It was a decent pace, but I know if I were free and clear I would have gone faster. A mile in, it opened up enough where I could run at my own pace, but then the sun hit. Between mile one and two, it felt like the sun was scorching me. At this point, I mentally gave up any notion of trying for a PR. I figured I was already behind on my time, I was starting to overheat, simply run to have fun and don't worry about the PR. After mile two, it was all downhill, which you'd think was the greatest feeling in the world, wrong! The best part was the shade! That last mile wasn't easy, but it felt survivable at that point.

Coming down to the finish line, I saw on the clock exactly what I wanted, it still read 20:xx. Wow, did better than I thought even though I felt like I had given up somewhere before mile two. I had to dodge one younger kid in front of me as he puked and crossed the line thirteen seconds better than my previous best!

I always worry about the day CT crosses the line before me. Until then, I think we make a great pair because I feel like death crossing the line. I catch my breath, stumble to the water station, get a drink, then grab a cup for her and about the time I get back to finish line, her she comes. By the time she crosses the line, I feel better, give her water, and to her look like I'm not even tried as she's now the one dying!

No medal for me this week. All the fast people show for this race and knew even if I did get my PR, it wouldn't be enough to place in this race. Still, I feel good about getting my PR again for 4th 5K in a row. BTW, CT not only got her PR as well, but she did medal in her age group. Until next week, readers.

They're Grrrrrrrrrrreat!

They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. What a better way to start the day than running the Cereal City 5K? Okay, so eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes would be much easier, but the sugar high can't compare to the feeling moments after crossing the finish line knowing that you gave it your all. It also doesn't hurt seeing the clock and knowing that you beat your previous best time, but also seeing that you placed in your age group, that's the real sugar coating.

For the second 5K in a row, CT and I both lowered our times and finished 1st and 2nd in our age groups. I hope this trend continues, but CT is quick to point out that I ONLY got 2nd. She doesn't realize how fast the guys are in my group! I'm completely satisfied. This race had an added bonus of the person in 1st for each age group got to select a homemade bowl created by school kids. CT had picked out the bowl she wanted, but it was no guarantee she'd get it. Turns out it was her day, all the age groups that went before her, nobody select her bowl, and she got it. Now, she has something to put her cereal in to start her day.

My favorite moment from this race was coming down the home stretch, there was a young kid in front of me. He was darn fast, but I had been gaining on him for about the last mile. I was happy with myself because I had already passed my main rival, knew I was going to beat my time, and was going to be happy finishing the race like this. The home stretch was up hill some and even though I was keeping my pace, I ended up pulling dead even with that kid. Once even, the kid apparently took offense to me passing him and started in a sprint to the finish. I couldn't resist and sprinted myself to pull dead even with him, I pushed him to a step or two before the line, then I shut it down. Officially, our times were the same, but he got me.

Normally, you'd have to be impressed with meeting Tony the Tiger. In this case, I think Tony was impressed to meet the 1st and 2nd place Superstars, we are pretty great.

$1.98 Gift, Lifetime of Smiles

Found out this weekend that somebody actually reads my blog! How do I know this? In a rare trip home this weekend, CT and I were treated each to a pink gift wrapped package. The contents of said package once opened......ONLY our medals from our last race! You know, the medals we didn't get from the previous blog entry (yeah, I know you didn't read it!).

I stand completely amazed that not only does somebody read my blog, but my Mom could use the internet to find us the official Susan G. Komen medals we should have received! I don't think I've ever seen CT smile bigger, but my favorite part was how excited my Dad was to tell me they were "only $1.98"! Forget about running a good race, getting a PR, the accomplishment, he's more proud of deal they got. That's my Dad.

I may have got second place in the last race, but I came in first place when parents were being handed out.

Race for the Cure - (PR)etty in Pink

What a difference a week makes. Even though it's a week closer to summer, the temperature dropped and it was borderline freezing. That was the unexpected change, today's Susan G. Komen 5K race brought back the emotion that my Marathon lacked last weekend. The excitement, nervousness, adrenaline...okay and hypothermia were all back for this race. Why? Maybe it's all because I knew it would be over so quickly. Maybe it's simply because my body will love me for stopping after three miles. Or maybe it's because this race had some purpose.

I have to be honest, I look damn good in any color! It does however, take a special occasion for me to not only dress in pink, but to make a trip to my favorite running store to specifically buy a female's pink shirt to wear...in public. CT's best friend's mom is fighting breast cancer and this was a special occasion to run to support her. CT's goal for herself was to place in her age group and give her the medal she'd win. After my second 5K last year, I set the goal for myself to place in my age group this year. I definitely wanted to backup CT in her quest, I've never placed, but figured if the two of us were going for it, it would only increase our chances. I know I've improved greatly from last year, but would it be enough?

21:18 a new PR (personal record) for myself! CT also got a PR for herself. When the dust settled, we checked our results to find that CT did in fact get first place in her division and I ended up second in mine. To say we were both ecstatic afterward, probably a bit of an understatement.

The final twist to the story, going to claim our medals, they hand us envelopes. How do they fit a medal in an envelope? Answer, they don't. Turns out the "prize" was a gift certificate. For a fraction of a second, there was some disappointment in both of us to find this out, but that was quickly replaced once we thought about what we accomplished today. Oh....and I was quick to point out, this was our first official payday for racing, we are (PR)o's now!

The Kalamazoo Marathon, Mile 20

A Marathon is 26.2 miles. That's a hell of a long way to run, I think this blog entry could equal that distance when reading, so if you are still awake after all my ramblings, congratulations. It was even difficult to decide the title for the entry. Without going into the details of my thought process, what options I weighed, I'm simply going to say Mile 20.

Six months of training, 679 miles, for a total time of over 4 days (100:19:57 h:m:s to be exact) of running all to prepare for 26.2 miles on May 8th. It's been quite the journey even getting to this point as I stood at the starting line, emotions, could very easily be the theme. Before even committing to doing this Marathon, crazy and insane come to mind. Starting the training, I remember how unsure I felt, wondering if I could even complete six miles. I remember the exact spot where I experienced "runner's high" and I fell in love. Confidence and exhilaration with successes, then worry and doubt with injuries and setbacks. This final week, nervous. The moment is here, what do I feel? Nothing! Calm before the storm, all emotion used, am I numb? Every race up until this point, it was pure adrenaline at the start. Now, nothing.

In my mind, I had two goals: Finish and do it under four hours. The average time to finish a Marathon sits around 4:20 and who wants to be average? Not me. Once training started, a new goal crept up and suddenly 3:40 felt very realistic. I debated a number different styles as to how I would run this race. In the end I felt most comfortable starting out strong and I knew eventually I'd start to get tired, then at that point slow down my pace and finish. My fear if I started out slower, in the final miles when I am tired, I probably wouldn't have enough to make up the time I needed. There was also the thought of sticking with my partner, CT for the whole thing. We always seemed to help each other and it felt good knowing she was close by. The draw to run my first Marathon and get a 3:40 was too tempting. My strategy was pacing myself off of the pace groups. The pace groups were broken up to finish times every fifteen minutes, so 3:00, 3:15, etc. all the way up. I would find the 3:30 group, start with them, then as I got tired fall back and hopefully not drop any further than 3:40 pace back. Simple plan.

Now to the story. Eeeeeeeeeert goes the starting horn and three thousand people surge forward. We had been told to enjoy the excitement and the energy of the first two miles. Again, I felt nothing. I got CT settled with the 3:45 pace group, then I moved ahead and settled in behind the 3:30 pace group. Three miles in, it felt like a practice run, minus the six thousand pounding legs. Mile 5, started into Western's campus and was the second water stop. Mile 6, just leaving campus, I took my first GU. At this point my confidence started to raise, if felt like I was hardly using any energy and was completely comfortable staying with this group. Hmmmm, goal was 3:40, is 3:30 possible? The temperature was raising, but I had hardly even broken a sweat yet. Running along Stadium Drive at this point a water stop should be coming, right (because they are spaced about every two miles apart)? Just like my emotion before the race, nothing. The next water stop wasn't until almost mile 9. That seemed like a big gap in my mind, but I still felt fine.

Mile 11, now I started feeling some fatigue. Up until this point, I had been on the ankles of the pace group. I dropped back some for two reasons, the first being water was starting to be more important to me. This is called learning on the job, but there was a sizable group around the pace group and what I was finding is it was harder to get water because going through the water stops there was only so many volunteers with only two hands. I liked my chances hanging back some and helping my chances to get two cups. second reason, was simply the fatigue I was feeling. Up until this point, I was ahead of where I wanted to be, might as well save energy for the end.

The halfway point, still feeling pretty good. Up until this point, water stops were split, first half water, second half Gatorade. I don't know if they didn't get the memo or this is standard practice, but the water stop in this area switched it up and I downed two cups of Gatorade before I knew what I was drinking. I've never drank Gatorade all throughout training. Mile 15, my stomach was feeling weird. I knew my pace was slowing down, I had already lost sight of the 3:30 pace group. The downhill section of the course was coming up. Don't ask me why, it seems like that would be the easiest part, but give me flat and level every time! I knew I could coast some, but the down also puts more strain on everything, with what my stomach was doing this is the point I completely ditched the fantasy of staying with the 3:30 pace group and this is also the point where survival entered my mind.

Around mile 18, I saw a kid that was in my Run Camp group walking. I stopped for a moment and asked if he was alright and he said he started out to fast. We walked into the water stop, I did another GU and wanted to make sure I got good drinks of water. I wasn't feeling great, but in my mind if I could get to mile 20, all I had to do is add an hour to my time worst case and that would be my finish time and even that was being conservative. I got to mile 20 around 2:50.

Mile 20, here it is. This is the title, hence the real story of this blog and this Marathon. I had heard about "the wall", I even somewhat joked about it in a previous blog entry. My understanding, this was the term thrown out as the point when you didn't want to continue. In my mind, I defined it when everything hurts physically and it becomes a mental game to fight through it, if you want to quit or continue on. Probably naive on my part and cockiness because with my training I felt no real physical pain, but my definition of "the wall" was complete wrong and I was about to figure it out first hand. I could go out and grab the scientific explanation of "the wall" (I have since looked it up), but I'm going to sum it as a living, breathing, nightmare.

My legs stopped working. As the reader, you'll attribute that to of course they did, you just ran 20 miles fool. No, they stopped working. Breathing fine, heart rate fine, no physical pain, brain sends signal to legs to run and nothing....just like the emotional void before the race. So, now that's going on, lets enter the mental aspect. My brain is now in what I'd describe as a panic, "what's going on", "why is this happening", then it transforms. It just so happens that my Run Camp team leader runs by me at this exact moment, somebody who I always felt I performed better than throughout all this training. Defeat. Next thought, I ran almost this exact course a few weeks ago and did 20 miles and was fine. Confusion. Then the 3:45 pace group just passed me. Dreams of 3:40, gone. Somehow enough brain messages reach my legs and I keep up with the 3:45 pace group, at least I can finish with that time. Forget it, legs stop again. Again defeat. Wait, 3:45 that's where CT wanted to be, where is she? Oh no, she's struggling too. Worry. Why didn't I stay with her? Anger, fear. Check watch, only to see all the time I had built up to guarantee I finish under 4 hours, almost gone. Goals dying. It was a front row seat to watching dreams, expectations, hopes all go racing by meanwhile unable to do anything to stop them.

All of that took place in Mile 20 and I still had roughly 6.2 miles to go. Heart was still beating, but it felt like life itself had been sucked out of me. Somewhere between Mile 21 and Mile 25, I was able to feed off two familiar faces one from Run Camp who helped push me and told me finishing under 4 hours was still possible, the other from Gazelle's who had become a frequent acquaintance with all my trips to the store. Not too many details in this stretch because my mind was fried. People cheering "Looking strong" felt insulting because I knew I was neither at this point.

Mile 20 wasn't done rearing it's ugly head though. The home stretch, surely it will be possible to feed off the mobs of people cheering to make it the final half mile and finish strong. I had to stop twice with the finish line in site to walk. Embarrassment. It took one last Gazelle face to come up to me and ask how I was doing. I believe my response was that I'm dead. He said something along the lines of lets finish this. That was enough to do it and felt like the first true positive to the nightmare I was stuck in was coming to an end.

Up until this point, every race the pain has always stopped the moment that line is crossed. Six months of waiting and dreaming how good it would feel to cross the line, what did it feel like? Finally crossing it, it didn't feel empty like the start, instead I felt completely and utterly defeated. The accomplishment of finishing my first Marathon and even squeaking in under 4 hours, were completely negated by the mental anguish that started at Mile 20. Physically running that distance was by far the easiest part. I wasn't prepared for the mind games at all. Years from now, I know the mention of this Marathon, instantly is going to flash up images of how terrible Mile 20 was.

Thought you were done? Oh no, there's still story left. After crossing, was given the cool medal in the picture, grabbed a water than sat at the finish line waiting for CT. Finished my water, then asked if I could go back on the course. I walked back to where CT's sister (Downhill) was watching for her. Still no CT. I told her sister I was going to run out to find her, at which point I was told by her no I wasn't. She'd go find her, get her to me, then we could finish. Normally, I would have argued the point, had I NOT JUST RUN A MARATHON! Ha....even though this entry is depressing, I can still work in some horrible humor. True to her word, Downhill got CT to me and I crossed the line with her. Probably the way I should have planned to do it to begin with. Soon after the rest of the Superstars crossed the line.

That night I made the comment to CT that it was the first Kalamazoo Marathon and it was my last Kalamazoo Marathon, I was that defeated by it. Sleeping on it, without any nightmares I might add, I woke up to decide I'm not letting it get the better of me. I'll run this race again and I'll get the time I wanted.

Think the story is finally done. You can stop here, because this is more for me. When I think back to how the training went, I'm very disappointed that I had to find out what "the wall" was during the race. Had I had a better understand of what exactly it was, I don't think it would have been as devastating to me. Maybe it's hard to push people into finding it in training. If that's the case, it would have been helpful to hear from people who experience it. Then again, maybe everybody is different and there's no real way to explain it. It's not as simple as getting tired like I was lead to believe. As far as my plan for the next Marathon, I'm going with starting slower than I'd like, hit the halfway point, then try to get faster. I very easily could get in the same situation as I did this race and be that much worse off, but it seemed to work for many people as they passed me late when I was dead. I'm also not sold on the whole tapering philosophy. I suppose I did finish and body felt good when it did work, but I didn't like cutting my miles down as much as we did and I also wished we had at least hit Marathon distance prior to do it. Lastly, diet is going to play a much larger role. I can't help but wonder had I paid more attention here, if I could have avoided what happened to me.

Momma said these shoes would take me anywhere!

I don't celebrate birthdays anymore, at least not officially. All gifts are still greatly appreciated and definitely when I say I don't celebrate birthdays, gifts ARE different than birthdays (need my address?). I've really only stopped the aging part. Even though I'm not aging, I'm continuing to get healthier and even though I want to punch every person in the face who says this phrase, "I'm in the best shape of my life", I'm saying it.

Last year, I had never ran a 5K. I'm not even sure I could even do a mile. Fast forward and a mile is hardly a warm up. For not aging this whole year, I've made amazing progress! To celebrate my feats, I was curious how fast I could run a mile. Training for this Marathon, it's been all about distance and nothing about speed. I know I've gotten faster, time to see. Put on the newly purchased gift to myself, my New Balance 870's, and I came out with a mile in 6 minutes 19 seconds.

Thought for sure I could pull a sub six mile, but maybe next year!

Week 20 - Redemption, Kind Of

Fresh off the set backs from the previous week, I was nervous heading into this week. Doing 20 miles for week 20 seemed fitting though. My partner was back in commission and the course for this week's run is almost the exact course the Marathon will be. I was excited about that.

CT had high hopes of doing 22 this week. Going from 16 to 22 seemed like too big of a jump for me. She has the ability to talk me into doing crazy things, but with how last week ended for me, I was hoping to only do 20. Don't tell her, but I pretended I was all about going 22, meanwhile hoping she'd get tired and throw in the towel at 20. I wanted to stick with nine minute miles and keep the run easy.

It was a good run, though at mile 18 I remember trying to use the Jedi mind trick to will the last water station. There was a long stretch on a wooden bridge and I remember it feeling like end of the bridge kept moving away from me.

CT did seem happy calling it a day at 20 miles. I acted disappointed, but secretly I was jumping up and down. We waited in the gym for our Superstar teammates to get back. Ultimately, I was very happy with the run. We were spot on for nine minute miles, I didn't have any aches or pains and my calves weren't on fire like last week. CT was happy with herself for being able to make a big jump in her mileage. Our success was short lived as two of our Superstar friend came in gleaming if that's possible. If it was possible, you could see the neon sign above their heads saying we did 22 miles.

Superstar #2 asks us "So, how far did you guys go?"

CT responds with "20".

Superstar #2 comes back with "You guys ONLY did 20"

I honestly don't know if the punctuation on that quote should be a question mark or a exclamation! My my, aren't we full of ourselves? Superstar #2 certainly didn't mean it the way, but it cracked us all up and has been the topic of many conversations this week.

Week 19 - Shaky Ground

Confidence is a very interesting animal. Untamed, it can turn into a monster. Unused, in the animal world, probably means life expectancy isn't good. Success builds it and failure takes it away. I like to think I try to keep a level head and keep my confidence in check, but starting this journey it seems like I've only had positives. My distances keep increasing, I'm getting faster, not to mention I look awesome, you name it. This is where Big-Headitus happens (didn't go to med school, but I know this is a real condition). I'd say week 19 I hit my peak and something had to give.

The run this week took me back to my good friend the KalHaven Trail. Fresh off my success during the KalHaven Relay Race, familiar territory, of course this Superstar was going to have a great run. Started off like I normally do, a little slow to let people get ahead of me and give me something to chase, then sped up and began chasing people down. Some days you feel it and some days you don't (don't ask me to define "it"...because I have no clue). I caught the group of faster runners, got them in sight, but at that point I couldn't pull the trigger to pass them and because I didn't feel "it", decided I was content to keep pace with them. This week's run was 18 miles. Got to the turn around point, then the 13.1 mile mark. I wasn't on a record pace for myself, but it was still probably my third fastest half marathon time. Not great, but not bad either.

At about mile 15 something changed. I wouldn't say it had been easy up until this point, but suddenly it felt downright difficult. Pain started, joints ached, feet got sore, my knees felt suddenly like it was bone on bone grinding, it was awful. For the final three miles, I had to will myself to finish. I happened to go out slightly further than I had to, so I knew I'd be over 18 miles if I went all the way back to where I started. Every part of me wanted to quit because I hurt so bad, but I made myself promise I'd get to 18 miles before I stopped. True to my word, but not a foot further, once my watch read 18 miles I stopped and walked the rest of the way back.

By the time I was walking, my calves felt like they were on fire! My legs were tired anyway, but this was horrible. I thought walking it out would help, nope. Normally after the run, I take advantage of the free food waiting for us, the only thought on my mind was fear that I wouldn't be able to drive if I didn't leave then and there. I got home, the only thing that sounded good was a hot shower. As I waited for the shower to warm up, I looked at my legs and they were spasming uncontrollably.

Calves on fire, thighs looked like Jello in an earthquake, confidence down the drain! Had the marathon been today, there was no chance I could have even finished. All those successes, out the window and just like that, now there is serious doubt.

KalHaven Trail Run 2011

This week was a break from Run Camp to take part in a 33.5 mile relay race along the KalHaven Trail. There were a couple options to this race, one was run the whole damn thing. What better way to train for my first marathon than running a 33.5 ultra for a warm up? That's not even funny, but it was an option. The second option was doing the race as a two person team, CT running half and me running the other half. According to our training schedule, distance wise, this would work out fairly well. What fun is running by yourself though and the more the merrier right? That was my theory and the reason the Superstars were recruited to for a five person team. Why sign up for a six person relay race with five people? What's the record for most questions in a blog entry? The answer is easy, we are Superstars dammit!

The first leg of the race was given to "Downhill". Prior to starting, she didn't have a name and was only known as CT's sister. Downhill is coming off an injury from running the half marathon last year and she's been working her way back into running form. CT had been doing some running with her at about a 10:30 minute mile pace. Heading into the event, CT told me in secret she was going to push her sister to run a 10:00 mile pace for our race. Our plan going into the even was that we'd run with each other, for company, and to help each other out. Bang goes the gun (okay there wasn't a gun), CT and Downhill start on the first leg. Myself and the two other Superstars get in the vehicle and drive to where the exchange is going to take place. The first leg was 3.9 miles and I fully expect to see the two of them in about forty minutes, instead CT came in smiling in about thirty-two minutes with Downhill right behind her....but there was no smile. I actually thought, I'm going to have to rush Downhill to the emergency room, she looks like death, I can't believe this but CT actually killed her sister! It's here I'm going to admit to being somewhat selfish, because the thought actually crossed my mind "if CT is willing to kill her own sister for a race, what the hell am I doing training with her? I'm of no relation to her, what chance do I have?" Downhill did recover, she began breathing again instead of gasping, the color came back.....and that's when I reminded her her leg of the race really was the easiest, hence Downhill! (Hey, at least I take no prisoners when it comes to naming people and we all know that names never hurt people, unlike CT making people run 8 minute miles).

The tag was made and our next two runners when out to run their legs, Fashion and The Doctor. The names get much less creative as I go. Fashion got her name because for three weeks in a row I she had a new pair of shoes. This week was a purple pair of minimalist shoes. The Doctor got her name from her fascination for taping her foot before each run and she also seems to have a constant prescription to ibuprofen. The first leg they ran went very good. By the second though, Fashion was starting to hurt from her minimalist shoes. Why don't we run races in shoes are unknowns? There is a lesson here. Anyway, CT jumped in to keep the Doctor company for the remaining leg and Fashion called it a day.

Bathrooms are in short supply along the trail. The next leg started in an actual town and since I was up next, figured I'd use the facilities. Twenty minutes later, I was still in line! Luckily, the woman in front of me asked me if I was running this leg since she wasn't and let me go first. I ran out just in time to see frantic waving that our runners were coming and I almost missed them.

I have never run as hard, as fast, for as long as I did. My best 5K race time is 22:29, I clocked a 21:28. I've never officially run a 10K, but think my best training time sits around 48:00, I did it in 44:22. To put it in some perspective, Troy Aikman, the NFL MVP Super Bowl Quarterback ran a half marathon the same weekend and he finished 1:48:00 something, I did mine in 1:40:00 for the same distance and I still did 3 more miles to finish at 16.1 miles in 2:06:00. All told, I passed 33 people it wasn't until the final few tenths before one person passed me. The final leg CT joined me to finish the race out and those last three miles I had next to nothing left and was so glad to see her.

We didn't win anything, but it was a blast. All the fun was riding in the vehicle between legs and getting out to cheer other runners and our own. The running was hard work, but I'm very proud of myself how I ran. I have no idea how this marathon is going to go, but this was my best race to date. On a side note, this shirt is instantly retired. I ran so hard that my nipples were bleeding and there's blood on this shirt to prove it, instant trophy!

Week 13 - Teammates

This is going to be a quick entry this week. The Superstar's are all nursing injuries, hopefully everything is minor and will heal quickly. Even though that's the case, not one has given up on doing a run. I'm not sure if that's determination, heart, guilt, or stupidity but they all did it. Again, this week I ended up running at my own pace which left me by myself for most of the miles. This week was different from last week though, all the adrenaline was gone and for whatever reason I felt very alone this week. The aches and pains probably weren't any worse than last week, but they felt much worse. I felt slow. It was a hard run for me this week and I found myself needing the companionship of my teammates.

I look forward to next week, it's going to be less miles and I think sticking together will be my plan.

Week 12 - Superman Isn't Dead

This week's goal was to run 18 miles. 18! I'm not sure what it is about 18, but this is the first time in Run Camp that I've been nervous before a run. The distances have been slowly been incrementing, so it's never seemed like a big jump. But, with not doing the weeks where we were suppose to do 15 and 16 miles, this seemed like a daunting task. With these distances, I'm also starting to get my meals planned out prior to race day. It's now tradition for pasta the night before.

Two miles in CT told me she wasn't feeling it and I think she could tell I was itching to go. It's strange, but I think running slower is harder on my body, so with the green light to take off and knowing she'd have plenty of company with our Superstar friends, I was off. Little did I know there was an secret plan brewing, but more on that later. It is much easier for me running with people in front of me, not sure if it's purely competitive, it gives me a goal, or simply keeps my mind more focused. I chased everybody down, all the people in our group, another group that started ahead of us, and almost everybody in the fastest group in Run Camp. After six miles, the head games started and all I could think to myself was you are Superman. I felt fast, strong, and able to run through walls. At mile fifteen I started to feel some hip pain, it did slow me down some, but the adrenaline rush of knowing that I not only would easily be able to finish eighteen miles, but I crushed my previous best times for a half marathon time made it easy to finish.

Back at the finish, I grabbed a bagel, then I got to thinking that I felt so good, I really wanted to experience finishing with my run partners because I knew it was going to be a record run for them as well. I could run, but I thought I would walk out, meet them, then run with them back. Well, I walked and I walked, still no sign of them. I reached the first (and what is also the last) water station and finally saw somebody from our group. She confirmed my Superstar's were coming. Pretty soon a lone Superstar showed up and gave me the news that my two missing Superstar's decided to go an extra mile out, planning on ending the day at twenty miles! The master plan got foiled! No sooner did the words leave her mouth, then she asked you're going to meet them aren't you....of course! So, I jogged out and found my two trouble makers, who weren't very trilled to see me, because it basically guaranteed I would end with more miles than them, but I also caught them in the act!

In the end, finished with 22, caught some trouble makers, and feel very confident I can finish this marathon. Superman isn't dead, I felt him inside me today and it was a great feeling.

Week 11 - The Wall

Hitting "The Wall" is often talked about when running a marathon. This whole training process, I've been curious what it will feel like when I get to that point or even if I will.

This week's schedule got changed around. A couple of the Superstar's (our self-titled group name) couldn't run for our typical long run on Saturday. The plan was to take Saturday off and do our long run on Sunday instead. Running is starting to become an addiction because when Saturday rolled around, I was fully intending to run that day anyway. Maybe not the full distance, but just go out and run a few miles, as a group we were scheduled for 16 miles. I checked with CT and sure enough she didn't need to be convinced to run, so our plan was to do an easy 10 miles. Do you think we stuck to the plan? You should know us well enough by not that something happens once we get out there and the plan goes out the window. Turns out we started running with another runner from our group and ended up doing 13 miles at a pretty fast pace. Whoops.

At this point I'm going to say we got totally busted! As it turned out one of the Superstar's driving in to work saw us running and we got grief for running without her. I swear, what are the chances that she'd see us running on her way to work, we can't get away with anything!

On longer runs, I'm always a little sore. CT had a very good run after getting over her cold, she finally felt she was back to full strength. I was very happy for her, but for me I really ached after this run, which was strange because it felt different and it wasn't as if I had gone further than I had been. It would be one thing if the conditions were bad, but for once in this Run Camp the route was in good shape and mostly dry pavement.

Sunday's plan was to meet at 1pm and do the exact same route that we did the day before. This time we wouldn't have our normal support that we would with Run Camp, so we strategically left vehicles with water at various points. The Superstar who picked the time to run, will not be named, but this run was about to go down in history. Weather, fine all morning. At about 12:30 the snow starts coming down and I'm not talking a few flakes, but the time we started running I'd estimate there was easily two inches on the ground. The four of us started out and I'd guess between a half mile and a mile the snow turned into a sleet and with the blowing wind, my face was actually getting sore. Luckily, about that time we changed directions and it didn't seem as bad. Three miles out, we reached the first vehicle and got some water. Five miles out, we stopped and used our GU (eating snow to provide water, which felt like we were cannibals using the environment). Six miles out hit the second vehicle. Reached seven miles out and proceeded to have a snowball fight. I'd say this is the point where we started losing our minds, this is also the point where it began raining.

On the way back, what was once a soft cushion with the new snow was now like stepping into a puddle with each step. The snow was still on top, but now it was a very wet slushy underneath. I still felt pretty good, but come about mile nine where we did more GU, my knees did not want to go anymore. Once starting, I was fine, but stopping it felt like they were wet concrete and getting them moving again was nothing but grinding pain. It seemed to take forever to get back to other car. Once there, this was my wall. CT could tell I was in pain. I think she came close to pushing me in the car and driving me back, but I wanted to finish. We started out again, but my one comment was that I literally couldn't stop again, if I did, I'd never get my knees working again and I had to go at my own pace.

I wasn't fast, there was a huge hill that seemed almost impossible, but fought through it to get down to the last mile which was down a fairly busy road. With the end in sight, you'd think the worst was behind me, less than a mile to go, no big deal. Wrong! The next hurdle to overcome was the cars passing and regardless if they tried not to or not, it was a slush, cold water shower with every passing vehicle. The cars weren't bad, but at some point this huge 4x4 truck went by and blasted me with enough force to almost knock me back and that wasn't even the worst part, it felt like I had just been dunked in an ice-water bath! I started laughing, for as difficult as Hitting the Wall sounds, I don't think it could compare to the onslaught of everything I experience during this one run. All I had to do was make it back and I was fairly confident I could handle anything the marathon threw at me.

To date, hardest run ever! Next to losing a limb, or maybe rabid dogs chasing me down, I can't imagine a more difficult run. I'll remember this run FOREVER! I honestly don't think I've felt "Hitting the Wall" yet, but when I do, I'm going to think back to this run and that alone should be enough to push me past it.

5K Heart Check

Spending all my time training for the marathon, one would think it would be easy to judge how I've been improving. It's not cut and dry as it would seem. For one thing, prior to starting this training, my training consisted of running as hard as I could for as long as I could training for my 5K's. In this marathon training, almost every run is suppose to be an "easy" run. That phrase is open to interpretation, because is a thirteen mile run ever easy? I understand by their definition an "easy" run is one that the pace seems comfortable and you are not pushing yourself to failure. But it seems like an odd concept, run slower to get faster, seriously?

I don't ALWAYS follow the rules and a few nights ago I pushed myself during one of my "easy" training runs. I happened to be by myself and was curious how I'd do. I ended up doing a 10K worth of distance and at my previous best race pace which would be impressive based on the distance, but I picked a route that had some major hills. If I could maintain that pace in hills, wonder how I'd do in a flat course?

The problem with winter and running, there aren't very many races to choose from. But I decided to look and see if I could find a 5K, sure enough I found this one called the Heart Throb. It worked out perfect because almost ever 5K gets run on Saturday mornings (which conflicts with Run Camp), this one happened to be on Sunday. The only downside, it takes place not only in East Lansing, but on State's campus....double ewwwww!

Based on the name, you can tell it's a Valentine's Day themed race. One of the options that intrigued me about this race is couples could enter and prizes would be given out for that too. CT and I seem to be fairly fast together, so I convinced her to enter with me and we'd see how the two of use would do. That was a mistake, but more on that later.

It turned out to be a great day for a race. I was unsure exactly how to dress based on the temps and decided to still with what I had been running in. CT told me I'd get to hot, but I ignored her. Two miles into the race, she was right. I found myself debating if I could get two layers off and keep running, if it was worth the chance, or if I should simply suck it up and keep going. Based on my pace, I knew I was guaranteed setting my PR, so I decided to slow down and suffer dying of the heat. I did cross the finish line almost two minutes faster than my previous best. While I was extremely happy about that, some old guy passed me right at the end and that was ego crushing. I know had I not overheated, I not only could have finished ahead of him, but could even get a better time. So, next time!

CT had her own overheating issues, not to mention she's still trying to get over a cold. I know she wasn't pleased with her time, but when we looked at the overall results I pointed out that she still would have finished first in her age group. I don't think I've ever seen a frown turn upside down so fast! I would have finished second in my age group. So, back to entering us as a couple, because I did that we weren't entitled to the awards for the age groups. When I did that, I was under the impression that as a couple we'd be competing against other couples in our age group, I know we'd be able to beat them. Well, as it turned out all the couples were lumped in one group, so the only way we'd win an award is if we finished in the top three. As it turned out we finished sixth, which I think is damn good, especially when you consider we were running a race on a college campus and every couple before us was under twenty four, punks! Oh, and though CT gave me some grief for not signing us up as singles so we could have walked away with medals, we decided the MSU great and white ribbon on them made them ugly....and we didn't want them anyway!

Call me a believer in many slower, longer, runs make you faster. Prior to even running a 5K, I had dreamed of finishing in the 22 minute range. Not only did I do it, I still think I can get faster. I'd say my heart is in pretty good shape!