Sunday, October 21, 2012

What Was Once Lost, Is Now Found



Lost a month of training.  Lost my marathon.  Lost my mojo, and may have lost my mind.  That's what has been going on.

I'm still injured.  My ankle is better, but still not fully healed.  I can't miss another race though.  Switching from the full to the half marathon made sense.  I could walk a half if I had to.  It has been possible to run, not as much I'd want, but I can do it...put an asterisk after that.  My Achilles still gives me good days and bad days.  At one moment, I'm forced to hobble around like my dad does, the next I'm able to walk normal without even thinking about it.  That part is frustrating, I don't get how one second it's there and the next it's almost as if it's completely gone.  But as I said in my previous post, the choice is easy, I'll race with pain over being a cheerleader.

This summer stunk for training, first it was the ridiculous heat, then it was my injury.  CT still has her goal of qualifying for Boston. My goal has shrunk to simply hoping to to finish without my worst time in a half marathon.  The asterisk from above should state that though I can run, it's nothing like what I could before.  Even though I should be satisfied with just being able to get a few miles in, it never works that way.  The fact I'm not able to cruise at the pace I could before, stinks.

There certainly won't be any PR's for me in this race.  The cool thing about the Grand Rapids Marathon is both the half and the full start at the same time and use the same course for the first nine miles.  My goal was to run with CT, keep her company for as long as I could.

The temps were perfect at the start.  The first four miles few by.  I felt like we were both running very easy and were right with the pace group she wanted to stick with.  She was very nervous and did her usual build up of putting too much pressure on herself.  She'd never admit this, but I think she knew qualifying for Boston was out of her reach this race.  We both lost lots of training miles to the heat and my injury, to make it possible.  Even with that, she still puts tough expectations on herself and I was damn worried how she'd be doing at towards the end.  It didn't help at mile nine, just before we split up she tells me she's tired and ready to be done!  Not much I could say at that point, besides just do your best and I'll come out and find you once I'm done.

Since starting to run again this month, I've pulled off three ten mile runs, one of which was ugly.  I really had no idea how I'd be feeling at this point in the race.  I remember last year on this course it was about this point where I started having problems with my knee.  I felt pretty good.  Part of me said stay conservative because I'm not real sure how I'll be able to finish.  Then there's that other part, maybe just push it a little, then I could back off when I hit mile ten and reevaluate.  Guesses?

My pace quickens.  Passed a few people.  This feels pretty good.  Pass a few more people.  Awwww shit, the song that I initially tried to run away from CT with that very first day just came on.  Coincidence that I just left her?  There IT is....here's what I've been missing for months, runner's high!  Two fist pumps in the air, why I don't know, but that was my signal to those who were behind me, to kiss me goodbye.  From this moment on, NOBODY was passing me and I was back.  With just under four miles to go, I cut six minutes off my finish time.  Not only did I do that, but I got two Gangnam Style dances in the process.  I couldn't resist doing it through a water stop and across the finish line.  Fast, goofing off, and there was still some left in the tank.  Not sure how many people I caught, but a number said things like "good effort" and "keep it up" as flew by.

This is why I love running, 99% of the time it seems hard, but then a moment like this happens and I could have ran through a brick wall...fast.  For as late as it was in the race, these were some of the fastest miles I've done, while still injured.

Did I get a PR?  No.  Yeah, I'm probably still going to have some issues with my ankle.  Maybe I even slowed my recovery even more, but you know what, it was worth it!  I needed that runner's high and that feeling of invincibility.

Crossing the line: